Poly is NOT Settling (Poly Is Not, Part II)

I received a message from a young man:

Do you think settling for a partner in a BDSM relationship is just as devastating as an vanilla relationship? Not saying one is better than another. I’ve been thinking about this for the past week. Not sure if settling for in anything in life is worth it. Maybe it drowns out the pain for the moment. I just see that moment becoming so small, so quickly. I guess that’s why there are so many people trapped in relationships. I guess nobody wants to be lonely.

He found my reply helpful, and it sparked something in him, so I thought that sharing it might help others find that same spark (or another unique to themselves):

I do think it that settling in BDSM is just as devastating as settling in a vanilla relationship.

Because settling means that you are not getting your needs met, right?

That said, there are many types of relationships. You need not settle to avoid loneliness.

For example, I have a Pet. He is wonderful. We see each other a few times a week. I also have good friends-with-benefits and playmates that I see at parties in certain areas (I travel, some).

Those relationships are meant to be just what they are, not substitutes for each other, but relationships within their own right.

To those of you who are poly: Does this make sense to you? Do you feel the same?

And the monogamists: Does this change or effect the way you view poly (not trying to change your mind, just curious about how you view it)?