So, have I told you that I was “turned on” to cuckolding?
I was. By my Pet, my boyfriend, my submissive… whatever he’s called in his many roles in my life, he brought cuckolding to me.
In fact, I’d heard of it only a bit before he brought it up, and I always thought it was weird.
After years in relationships with jealous men, I could just not wrap my mind around the idea that a man would want to share me, but not necessarily see other women.
And, frankly, I didn’t trust it.
Not one bit.
On the other hand, I am an open-minded person, and I’m not one to judge another by what they do or don’t get into, so I was cool with his desires, just not really sure about them.
I’ve also always believed in the benefits of poly, but had lived 20 years monogamously—and STILL was accused of flirting too much or cheating on my ex husband and BF when the relationships came to a close.
So, I just didn’t have a frame of reference for cuckolding as a viable relationship choice.
So, how did he do it?
There were a few steps:
- Create trust.
- Be consistent.
- Use fantasy.
- Remove pressure.
- Reinforce her femininity.
Number three is what I’m going to focus on today, since I just had a lovely time with Pet and some of his fantasy talk.
When we are touching, we almost never leave it at just that. Sex and affection include talking for us, which allows us to open our minds to further ideas and scenarios than we ever have before.
So, as he gives me a massage, or caresses me, giving me pleasure, he might start with…
“You are so amazing.
Such an amazing woman.
You deserve to be worshipped.
You deserve to be pleasured.
You deserve all the pleasure I can give you.
You deserve to be desired for these amazing curves.
You deserve to have me at your feet.
You deserve to be touched with love.
You deserve everything good.
You deserve to enjoy what you want, and you deserve for me to get that for you.
You deserve to feel everything pleasurable.
You deserve my hands giving you pleasure.
My mouth giving you pleasure, my words giving you pleasure, my cock giving you pleasure.
You deserve pleasure.
You deserve a cock that can fuck you hard, the way you love to be fucked.
A cock that will fill you up and make you moan and cry out.
You deserve all the pleasure you can take from that feeling…”
You see how fantasy talk can be used in a non-threatening environment to create a need and desire in her?
How it is used for me, with him spinning his fantasies, but also telling me what he feels about me as a sexy woman, without a push to make it happen (items 4 and 5)?
Oh, and it has to be sincere. You have to want it FOR HER, not just for you. You should speak only the truth. Give her that.
Make her feel safe that you will speak the truth to her at all times (number 1).
That is trust. Not that you won’t ever say anything she doesn’t want to hear, but that you will always give her the truth, and still love her.
Of course, this is simplistic. A blog post/email can only take us so far.
But we discuss it in great depth in CuckoldMe! And we discuss another method, as well. The method that Kole Raymond used to bring his girlfriend around to the joy of cuckolding him.
AND we discuss the pros and cons of both, and how to use techniques from each, tailored to your relationship.