Dominance & Vulnerability

If you’re anything like me, sometimes you feel like you’re not allowed to be out-of-sorts, sad, upset, weak or vulnerable, because you are THE DOMINANT.

It’s rough.

As a person who has taken responsibility for another human, the idea of making a mistake or being wrong in any way can seem pretty damn terrifying.

Ever been there?

I have. SO. Many. Times.

So many.

So, how do we get around this when it feels overwhelming? When we are battling with how we feel and what we may perceive as our roles.

But is being a dominant a role? An acting job?

Do I, as a female dominant need to look like online porn, have an implacable, icy exterior, and never be flawed or human?

GAWD, I hope not. If so, I’m doing it all wrong.

For me, it’s about reminding myself that I am dominant. It is part of who I am. It’s my chosen lifestyle and character.

That means, it’s always with me. It’s a part of who I am. Therefore, because that’s OK, the rest of me is as well.

That said, I also know that as the person who guides my relationships, I hold myself to a pretty high standard.

So, I know it’s OK to feel my emotions. Even to wallow in them once in a while for the full effect of humanity (going through the sappy songs on my iphone in alphabetical order, anyone?).

I have emotions, express emotions, and even ask people for support and company, without letting those emotions take over. Without trying to make others suffer with and for me, either intentionally or accidentally.

EVERYONE has negative emotions, sometimes. They are important. We learn more about ourselves and grow through our emotions. Everyone is vulnerable, sometimes.

What’s important as dominants is how we handle ourselves in our worst, most stressful states.

Hell, what’s important as HUMANS is how we handle ourselves in those states.