Story of R: Day 3

Mentoring_r

Madam. I have though about the task you gave me. My current areas of control are as follows: I take care of all the bills and finance management, I take care of the cars and all house-related technical matters. It is my job to make sure that all these run smoothly.

It is also my responsibility to vacuum-clean the apartment every week.

What I would like to work on is: cooking andΒ  discipline. I lack in both areas.

Also, I’m not that much of a romantic, so I could certainly use improvement in this area.

I should also work on patience and humility – sometimes I get angry when my partner does something what I consider sloppy or tells me to do sth, which I oppose to at first.

Quite often I react with “instant refusal” and only later on, after rethinking, I agree with my partner and do what she wants. So, that’s basically it.

Mentoring_msnn

Excellent. Thank you for this list.

Could you please tell me in what order you would put these, when organizing for priority?

cooking, discipline, romance, patience, and humility

Mentoring_r

My order would be: humility, discipline, patience, romance and cooking.

Mentoring_msnn

Ok. So, may I ask why you would like to be more romantic?

Mentoring_r

because I’m very down to earth practical in every day life. I don’t give flowers… frequently, or surprise my partner with a romantic dinner. I’m not very spontaneous in this area

Mentoring_msnn

What benefits do you see to becoming more romantic?

Mentoring_r

The benefits would be that my partner would feel more appreciated as a woman and thus I would feel better because I’d know that I catered to her needs more.

Mentoring_msnn

Excellent answer.

Have you ever done the 5 love languages with your partner?

http://5lovelanguages.com

Mentoring_r

no, Madam, I haven’t

Mentoring_msnn

Is that something you think she may be open to, if you present it to her as a fun project for the two of you?

It takes about 10-15 minutes.

Mentoring_r

Well, I don’t she would object to it. She is open to various psychological methods and “tricks”

thank you for the link – I will try this

Mentoring_msnn

Ok. I’d like you to do that with her. Tonight, if possible, but this week. That is a task, but not your task for this evening.

*smiles*

Please write down or save both of your results.

Mentoring_r

yes, Madam

Mentoring_msnn

Let’s talk about humility.

What does humility mean to you, when you say you would like to improve upon your humility?

Mentoring_r

That one will be difficult to explain. My partner often says that I am too stubborn and relentless when she proposes some solution or action. I must admit that I often question what she tells me and object to what she proposes. It’s like she says “we’ll do this my way..” and I reply “OK, BUT….”, “I’d rather we do it may way”, etc. Even though I usually feel submissive towards her I get this “stubborn ugly head” that rises out of hiding in certain situations

Mentoring_msnn

Ok. I understand this. My own Pet has had this same issue. LOL!

Mentoring_r

πŸ™‚

Mentoring_msnn

It usually comes from being a success and independent in business and other relationships.

Mentoring_r

but I understand that this shouldn’t be so with a woman I am submissive to?

Mentoring_msnn

Correct.

I’m not saying it’s right.

I’m saying it’s understandable, and that it is common.

Mentoring_r

I guess letting go of control is not easy.

Mentoring_msnn

It is not, and it is. It’s a mental place.

It is simple, but not easy.

*smiles*

Mentoring_r

simple but not easy – I like this πŸ™‚

Mentoring_msnn

For your task this evening, I’d like you to give me three examples of you being prideful.

Tell me what happened, how you reacted, how she reacted, and how it was resolved.

Mentoring_r

I will think about it, Madam. Thank you.

Mentoring_msnn

Thank you.

Read More

Communicate It!

communication-pattern

So about two weeks ago, I gave a rocking class on communication to COHO, in Greensboro, NC. My goal was to record the whole thing.

I failed. LOL!

Thanks to a glitch, I only got the first half hour or so. Add to that bummer my voice sounding a bit nasal and tinny, and it’s not a great overall recording.

However, it is a good introduction to communication as I teach it, and since I’ve got a communication course in the works, I’m pleased to present this to you as-is, warts and all.

*smiles*

CommunicateIt!

Read More

Story of R: Day 2

Mentoring_msnn

Did you do your assignment?

Mentoring_r

not yet, Madam. I haven’t found a blog or writing that would reflect my “dream submission” yet

Mentoring_msnn

It need not be your “dream submission.” It may be something you relate to, something you strongly disagree with, or something you are not quite sure about.

Your dream submission is likely to fluctuate over time, after all.

Mentoring_r

Well, I have a clear image of the target in my mind πŸ™‚

Mentoring_msnn

LOL! Of course.

Mentoring_r

I have found an interview with a FLR couple that I can related to. Though I disagree with certain elements of FLR described therein I support most of the solutions employed by that couple. The link is: http://learningdd.com/blog/flr-domestic-discipline-interview/

Mentoring_msnn

Thank you. I’ll read it in a moment.

Ok. So what do you disagree with most in this article?

Mentoring_r

What I disagree with is the fact that the man is only given a monthly allowance – in my eyes he’s treated like a irresponsible child who cannot be trusted with finances.

Mentoring_msnn

Ok. But, in their FLR, he actually wanted and agreed to that.

What if they are saving for a home? If she manages most of the household finances, how would he know if they were low on cash because of a household issue, when he chose to buy something he wanted on credit? That could throw of their join personal goals.

Mentoring_r

If they both agreed this is the best way for them then I’m totally fine with it. It just wouldn’t work for me, personally. Maybe because I’m the one taking care of the finances, i.e. paying bills, etc. But I do communicate everything to my partner, so she is always aware of the current situation.

I think that communication is key here

Mentoring_msnn

*nods* That’s the key. To choose something that works for both.

What did you like best about their arrangement?

Mentoring_r

I like the clear rules and areas of control. I like the domestic discipline.

Mentoring_msnn

Ok. So let’s discuss clear rules and areas of control.

What do you like about those, in particular?

Mentoring_r

I like the fact that Gary is not viewed as a weak man, but as a strong person with submissive mindset. He is given clear responsibilities and punished when he violates them. His behaviour is evaluated so there is feedback involved. I love the sentence that “Gary is dedicated to making Kathy’s life a the dominant partner as stress-free and happy as possible”

Mentoring_msnn

Ok.

So, your assignment for tomorrow: What areas of control and clear rules do you currently have in place, if any?

What 5 areas would you like to work on for yourself and your lady? Please explain why.

I’d like you to really think about this.

Are my instructions clear?

Mentoring_r

Yes, Madam. It’s clear. Thank you. I will think about this and write my thoughts tomorrow.

Read More

Story of R: Day 1

R and I came to an agreement. I asked a few questions, and we discussed a few non-related things, then I gave him his first daily task.

R is currently in a relationship, and she is mildy and unofficially dominant. R wants to learn to grow in his submission and service to her, while controlling his impatience and anger.

He is not interested in forcing domination on her, so much as giving her the best submission he can.

Mentoring_msnn

For tomorrow, I’d like you to find a blog or writing online that you feel relates to how you would like to feel or do feel in your submission.

We will discuss it.

Mentoring_r

R: yes, Madam. Thank you.

Read More